Common Word Mistakes (and how to fix them)
Are you ever slightly concerned you might be using the wrong word? No worries; it’s a common occurrence. English even has multiple terms for different mistakes.
Is it a malapropism? For example, “He is the very pineapple of politeness!” This from Richard Sheridan’s 1775 play The Rivals, out of the mouth of a character named Mrs. Malaprop. Naturally, she meant to say “pinnacle.” And yes, malapropisms are named for her. However, of course, Shakespeare’s legendary character Dogberry is well-known for his malapropisms, such as “O villain! thou wilt be condemned into everlasting redemption for this” (Act 4, scene 2). Malapropisms can be used for humor to great effect, though generally, you want it to be intentional.
But perhaps it’s not that. Is it a catachresis? You are in good company. The first known use of “catachresis” was in 1550, so clearly English speakers have only been making mistakes for about 500 years. But what is it? A catachresis is the misuse of a word out of context, or a particularly mixed metaphor. O’ Henry poked fun at his own catachresis in the “Gift of the Magi” by saying about his phrase “the next two hours tripped by on rosy wings” “Forget the hashed metaphor.” It is easy to forgive O’Henry, but possibly harder to forgive someone who says you need to “shave the grass” when you’re in a hurry to get yard work done.
Or perhaps our elusive phrase is a mondegreen? No, it’s not a shade of green. It comes from Sylvia Wright’s mishearing of a phrase from The Bonny Earl of Murray (“layd him on the green”) as ”Lady Mondegreen.” This is quite common today, especially with song lyrics, such as “I wish that I could be like the cookies” from Echosmith’s “Cool Kids.” Apparently Taylor Swift fans are also well-known for mishearing her phrases.
Well, if it’s none of the above, our last option is a parapraxis. A parapraxis a slip of the tongue, which apparently demonstrates hidden motives. For example, a woman with a new boyfriend may mistakenly refer to him by her old boyfriend’s name. More common, if you happen to have two or more children, is that you will find yourself calling them by each other’s name, finally devolving into “You!” because your brain is so frazzled. Does this mean, as Freud might say, that you have a subconscious preference for certain children? Of course not. It just means you’re a parent.
How do you remedy these mistakes?
Well, the best way to avoid catachresis or malapropisms (or to use a malapropism for humor) is to read good literature. Aren’t you glad I didn’t say something like, “diagram 50 sentences a day”? Nope, it’s that easy. Your writing and speech will be modeled on what you read. If you spend your time on social media, reading the dozens of grammatical errors, spelling mistakes, ill-thought out reasoning, and flashy thinking, you will unfortunately absorb some of that.
On the other hand, if you spend your spare time with great the fantasy, philosophical, religious, and narrative writers of the past, you are dousing yourself in correct grammar, excellent sentence structure, well-expressed ideas, and clear vocabulary. That, in turn, will rub off on you. Your writing and speech will be more careful, and you will be less likely to commit such egregious errors such as “taking something for granite”, a “bold-faced lie” or “coming down the pipe.”
Heard the phrase “you are what you eat”? It’s just as true as the phrase “you are what you read.” Bonus of spending time with great literature–not only do you get to relax, but you also end up a better writer!