Creating the Heroes of the Next Generation

Which side of the fence do you fall on in the debate over nature vs. nurture? It’s going to affect how you raise your kids. Think about it, then jump up and brush the grass off your pants and cogitate on this:

Why do we spend so much time arguing about it when the greatest authors of the past century and more didn’t see it as vital to their characters’ development? Sure, they used it as framework, but not as the foundation.

Fiction is the distillation of truth about human nature.

While the debate has its place, the ramifications of the debate have crept unnoticed in the darkness behind the baseboard for much too long. The unbreathed assumption is that, whether nature (one’s genes) or nurture (one’s upbringing) was more dominant in shaping the life of a child, either way, he is not at fault. This is why we hear discussions about criminals in which reporters bring up details about his background, neighborhood, race, and income. This has happened so often that now men who are abusive are referred to as being “in a cycle”, pedophiles are assumed to have been abused as children, and mass shooters are presumed to be fatherless.

Yes, life is hard. But making excuses for criminals does not help them.

Nor does it help those who are raising the next generation. How do you address your child’s disobedience and failures? Do you allow him to blame others? Do you allow her to whine that she would have done better if…if…

Always, whether in poverty or wealth, in ease or hardship, each human being has the great privilege and responsibility of making his own choices along life’s path. It is a disgrace to pretend that we are the malleable creations of circumstance alone, or the random result of genes.

How would Hugo, writing about the Hunchback, or Dickens, writing about Pip, answer the assumption that bad circumstances must of necessity create bad men? You know the answer.

The very definition of the antagonist is one who failed to overcome his circumstances. Take Darth Vader, for example. Or the Phantom of the Opera. Both incapable of rising above what was done to them.

This truth is mirrored in real life.

Hitler had a domineering father, who died when he was 14. His mother passed away when he was 18.

Stalin was born in a poor, dysfunctional family. He was scarred from smallpox and had a slightly crippled arm.

Mao described his father as a “rich peasant.” His father likewise was domineering and pulled him out of school when he was thirteen to help work at the home farm.

It is not necessary to describe their crimes against humanity, the millions they slaughtered to achieve their dreams. It is enough to know that they were monsters.

Lincoln, whose mother died when he was young, lived in poverty, who had no formal schooling, but rose to the seat of lawyer, then Congressman, and became one of the greatest presidents in American history.

Harriet Tubman, born a slave, witness of and victim to violence and wickedness. Her name is a symbol for a beacon of hope today.

Ben Carson, whose mother made him write book reports instead of playing with friends, who lived in the slums of Detroit, and from there rose to become a neurosurgeon, receiving over 60 honorary doctorates during his career, and turned successful politician.

Keanu Reeves, whose father left when he was two, whose mother, who worked at a nightclub, married and divorced again. He was diagnosed with dyslexia and never graduated high school. And yet today he is one of the most respected men and actors in America.

The one thing that set these people apart from the monsters in human form were their choices.

And Harry… Harry grows up with we would term physical, mental, and emotional abuse. According to our standards, he should suffer from attachment disorder, as well as depression from being bullied so often. He is the type of kid we would not be surprised to see run away and join a gang on the street. Except he doesn’t. Resiliency is perhaps his strongest attribute before Hagrid comes to get him. He is a quirky pile of contradictions, as far as psychologists go.

Given Rowling’s mastery of literature, it would be foolish to pretend that her intentional parallelism of Harry and Voldemort’s lives have no lesson for us. And while the parallelism is most striking in the final books of the series, she has already given us the clue in the second book:

“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”

It is for the parents of today to take this lesson to heart as they raise the next generation.

Are we still going to pretend that one’s actions are dependent on one’s upbringing or genes? It’s easier. It is easier to box people into categories based on the area of town they were born in, the color of their skin, how much money their parents made, or if their parents were divorced. But it is no accurate barometer of human nature. We are more than our surroundings, and more than our genes. Are we not? Because if we are not, we are no better than animals.